We All Judge...

Mar
8th

Mon

True Story.

Scene: Yesterday, in the Passat, driving along I-20.

Characters: WAJ (driving), The Teacher of the Year (“TOTY”) (Shotgun), & M-Dub, lovah of the TOTY (Backseat, laying down)

The TOTY realizes that M-Dub has gum in his mouth while he is sleeping. Obvs, she doesn’t want him to choke, so she does what any TOTY would do…pulls the gum out of his mouth for him and throws it out the window.

The End.

All together now: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Mar
5th

Fri

I had a long list of things to get done last night, and only one items didn’t get accomplished. Surprised?

Mar
3rd

Wed

Re: Stephanie, Sam, cupcaking.

cbshelto: http://www.realitytvrave.com/2010/03/biggest-losers-sam-poueu-and-stephanie.html
WAJ: no
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
cbshelto: why no! i think thats fun!
WAJ: I don't care for sam and koli not sure why but they bother me
cbshelto: i like them more than i liked those other big dudes a few seasons ago
WAJ: the hawaiians that used to dance. why can't I remember their name? I'm going to have to start carrying around a notebook to write things down because this is getting trying
cbshelto: started with an s and an f? sione and fillipe. i know! I'm seriously worrying that something is wrong with my brain these days!
WAJ: I know well I have a brain tumor judging from all the twitching and forgetfulness that I've got going on. Now. I don't know how much I believe in touch except for the fact that they're saying sam's the one that told her...usually if they're lying they'd say from a close friend or whatever
cbshelto: yeah they are def an unexpected couple, would never put them together, but now im totally going to watch for it! haha
WAJ: can we talk for a second about cupcaking?
cbshelto: hahaha sure
WAJ: wth is that? why does society today feel the need to make up words for everything. not just words, but like ridiculous words
cbshelto: hahaha i agree
it was probably some inside joke that started on campus bc of something that happened and it just didnt get explained well
WAJ: why do you say that? because fat people like cupcakes? haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
cbshelto: hahahahhhahaha
heres the story i have in my head
WAJ: did that make you laugh out loud? because I laughed writing it
cbshelto: he says oh im going to go take this cupcake to stephanie
but that was just an excuse to hang out
WAJ: they can't have cupcakes courtney
cbshelto: and then he keeps being like oh this cupcake
and then they realized they are just hanging out
WAJ: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cupcaking Sorry Charlie...cute story debunked.

Mar
2nd

Tue

Have I already reached the point in my life where I receive the Chicos catalogue?

Mar
1st

Mon

A new month already?!

Feb
26th

Fri

Jury Duty Recap

I got an email requesting that I update my blog. Well, here you go:

On Sunday I had the following conversation with Courtney:

WAJ: In other news I think I threw my back out painting

Courtney: I can barely move from raking.

WAJ: Think that’ll get me out of jury duty?

Courtney: I wish we could be pitiful together!

WAJ: I’m already in bed?

Courtney: Act really religious, that will get you out of it. Maybe wear a nun’s outfit?

Kids, I shit you not there was a Nun at jury duty. While I don’t have photographic evidence (homeslice kept moving around!), it’s totally true. This was Courtney’s response:

Here are some of the other folks that I sat near:

I, too, believe that an army green sweat suit with gold sparkly pumps is appropriate jury duty attire. True story: this woman later came up to me and asked if we got our $25 dollas just for coming or if you had to get picked to be on a trial. Don’t worry sweetie, you get it just for coming. Also,:

The gentlemen in this photo came skrait from the farm. He had: red leather cowboy boots (that lbh prob cost more than my tory’s), red leather belt with silver belt buckle (with turquoise accents), 4 silver rings (3 on the left hand, 1 on the right) all with turquoise accents, a necklace with a silver pendant that has turquoise accents a bracelet on each wrist along with a watch on his left hand. Understated much?

Where do these people come from?

Feb
23rd

Tue

First World Problems

I am well aware each of the following things are certainly nothing in the grand scheme of things, but I tell ya, they’re causing me to come rage-y.

1. My cleaning lady turns off the light switch in my bedroom every time she comes, thereby turning off my alarm clock causing me to reset it.

2. In the same vain, she makes up my bed and folds the sheet down over the coverlet and blanket, thereby creating unequalness in the lengths of all the layers. In case you were wondering, this is NOT OKAY. To fix this problem, I have to remake the bed….which kind of defeats the purpose of having a cleaning lady in the first place.

3. It’s girl scout cookie delivery day here in the office, and when I ordered them I only ordered 4 boxes in an effort to be healthy. Hi Regret, it’s nice to meet you.

4. I had jury duty yesterday, and I was able to pinpoint the spread of the swine flu. If one more person coughed in my general direction, I was going to have to ask if there was a seclusion room. Two showers later, I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same. As a general rule, people act tragically.

Carry on.

Feb
19th

Fri

Totally worth being displaced for a week!

Y’all…it is with extreme happiness that I report that the Great Bathroom Remodel and Hardwood Replacement of 2k10 is complete. Want to see some pics? Hope so!

Here is the before:

I swear to goodness that I recaulked that bad boy 3 times in my 3 short years of living here…and that brown just above the tub has always remained. It grosses me out thinking about it.

Isn’t it beautiful?! I swear to goodness that I took a picture that was just like the one above, but I can’t find. Booo! Either way, the pureness of it all is amazing. Also amazing? The shower curtain (before):

And the After:

Isn’t she beautiful? PTL for Christmas, nice Mom’s and Anthropology!

Some of you may recall that in September my house flooded. As such, I had to remove the carpet in my closet, lest it cause all of my beautiful clothes to smell like mildew. So, for about 5 months, I got dressed on this:

Why, yes, yes, that IS in fact concrete. Thanks for noticing. Here’s the after:

Y’all. I know I’m biased and all, but I ADORE this tile. The dignity loss was totally worth it. Also, I may just pull up a chair and live in my closet it’s so awesome. I’ll be in my closet if you need me!

Apparently wood doesn’t like water…which is weird to me since it needs water to live. I guess it’s more accurate to say that dead wood doesn’t like water. So, when my closet (and front half of the house) flooded, this also happened:

It’s been just about as special as you could imagine having to literally body slam yourself into your front door in order to get it to open. Here’s what it looks like Post Hardwood Floor Replacement:

The door actually closes! With ease! There, that’s better. Here’s the main area of my place where the wood was also replaced (before):

…and after:

I know it looks exactly the same, except that I prom the floors are new! Plus, I drank all that beer that was sitting on my dining room table. And, I wore a different coat that day. See? And just for shits and giggles, the hallway before:

…and after:

Doesn’t she look amazing?! I’m extremely pleased. Now…pray it doesn’t flood. Ever again. Pleaseandthankyouverymuch.

Feb
17th

Wed

This was fun:

Over the weekend someone told me that you can look up yourself on Urban Dictionary to find out what your name means. Here are my favorites from my name:

1. A fair Irish lass, as heard in the title of every other Irish folk song e.g. “Maggie In The Wood”, “Drowsey Maggie”, “When You And I Were Young, Maggie”, etc.

2. The biggest bitch in the world. Totally conceited. Used as an insult.

3. Commonly used dog’s name. If your name is Maggie, chances are every person that ever meets you who happens to have a dog named Maggie (Which will be at least 25% of the people you meet in your life) will immediately reply with, “Oh. My dog’s name is Maggie! How cute!” Because they think you A) Care and B) Also think this is “cute”.

True Story.

Lent potentials

Things I contemplated giving up for lent but decided I couldn’t:

*Stalking

*Shopping

*DC Refills (I’d never consider giving up the actual DC itself, just the vast quantity of it)

*Laziness

*Awkwardness

Any guesses as to what I’m actually giving up?